|  |
 |
|
So, even though things are slower now than usual, I'm putting things into places for another big ramp-up starting on Jan 4. We've got a lot of new shows planned for 2010, incluing 5 at the Skokie Theatre, and a couple at some other theatres TBA. We've got some pretty big things stewing.
So, last night, S+P came over and we sat around, eating, drinking, and playing games. I have many friends that I consider to be muses of sorts, but these two together are probably one of the more potent mixtures. We came up with (what I think is) a brilliant idea for the Skokie Theatre shows, and now my mind is a bit in overdrive. It's fantastic.
So, being slow for me means that I don't have a place to be every night. I still work on my business every day from 7-3 (or so), but once I turn the computer off, I'm actually able to sit back on the couch and catch up on Netflix or hang out with my sweetie or what-not. I'm not actually "SLOW" by any means, because there is plenty of work to do, but I'm...you know...like a regular person. Granted, I still have troupe rehearsals every Tuesdays, teaching every Wednesday, a show every Thursday - so those days are always "work 'round the clock" days - but other nights - not necessarily.
And one of the great things this is doing for me is letting me open up my mind and put little bits of inspiration in there. When I'm really busy, I don't let anything seep in - the good or the bad. But right now, I'm picking the guitar back up (finger picking - a revealation!), I'm thinking about other skills I could learn...I'm open, and my god, it feels good!
xo
Annie
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
 |
|
I am an advocate of radical honesty.
And i only found that out today, or I was introduced to that term.
I was thinking about it and that I feel my initiation to it was through my ex. that through having to face all the deadly shit we created within our marriage and having to be brutally honest with him was where it started. Even though he wasn't in a place to be honest with me and though I couldn't own the power that it took to confront him about some of the things, I still began to retrain myself. it was the first step to rekindling my faith in my body, my intuition and my feelings.
I also don't think I've ever been able to look back into those dark days and been able to say wow darla that was courageous of you. That took some extreme strength. I know I usually look at it as a very diminished time in my life, where I was barely handling any of it, just barely holding on to life itself.
now today I look at myself and can say wow. yeah I totally own those things, I'm totally in tune with them, and respect them. I was listening to a group of women at dinner and one of them used the term radical honesty and I my insides were like, thats me!!! I say things that sometimes people don't want to hear. I say the things that are deep within me, the things that can change a persons life or my life. and sometimes it's really scary for me to say them but I don't think I've ever regretted saying them. For goodness sake I now have an incredble man in my life because (well for one reason anyways) I was so damn open from the get go. We both were, and continue to be, with each other. And it's fantastic!
But now I can see it was absolutely a starting point, and one that I am so grateful for.
And through all the radical honesty I've been practicing lately I think I'm having an easier time here at dance training. Today, twice, I lead myself through some pretty deep places. And put total trust in the tools, used them to guide me within and then out of the feelings and pain. Part way through I realized that I wasn't being assisted by one of the facillitators because I was using the tools to the max, and also that I was so willing to go there, to dive deep, and then deeper. When I alchemized and surfaced we weren't even half way through the class and I sat there for a moment and made the choice to dive back in. I'm here to do this work I might as well take full advantage of the opporitunity to go so deep and be so supported and held. and thats what teh radical honesty has given me, teh courage adn strenth and confidence to face everything as it arises, it makes it ewas
Another phrase I really liked from the dinner table was "I choose to be happy, with you". In regards to her man. and staying andn choosing her love with her man when times get tough, it was so cute. She said I feel like punching you in the face but instead I choose to be happy with you.
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
 |
|
I know, I know, it's been a while -- so.
Vaguely-important-but-not-really-surprising PSA-type notice for those who object to ambiguity: Yes, Six and I are no longer a couple. We're still friends, though, so don't worry about weirdness. It should be, for example, fine to invite us to the same parties. If you have further inquiries on the matter, feel free to ask. I guarantee no satisfaction from the inquiry, but I welcome questions. :)
Outside of that, life is pretty good. I'm mostly sitting back and doing a lot of very digital art. If you're curious, you can check out my deviantart page here. There's a lot of crap, but I'm getting better. New tools will induce learning curve angst in the best, and I'm not anywhere near that yet. I do have some rather stunning new tools at my disposal, however, and I'm hoping to get good enough to start doing commissions again shortly.
I've got an art show coming up sometime. More on that when there's a confirmed date and time.
Humhum. Life continues apace. I've been pretty quiet for a while, I suppose? Noisier on twitter (windbourne, of course.)
I also occasionally lurk on AIM; nightcentury is my handle; look me up if you like, I'm generally happy to chat. I'm often invisible, however, because I am terminally lazy about it and forget to reset myself.
So, ...how are you guys doing?
3 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
There are few men that I can get hot-n-bothered just looking at their pictures, but I'm very predictable in this end. I have a type (best qualified as caveman), and I'm die-hard for it. Tall, lean, hairy, grunting types. I especially like dark brown or black hair.
Dick Dijon is, naturally, the finest speciman to date.
What's your type?
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Just give me time for a nap today, and I'll be fine! :) xo
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
sacral, many things arising, feeling all the feelings in my belly and loving them.
being held through it by my sisters. sharing, moving through with love, compassion and forgivness. self forgivness.
dear darla
i love you
i love you
i love you
more later.....
when more coherant
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Here's a little somethin' to listen to:
Comedian JAMES FRITZ is here / Burlesque dancers – Maria May I & Red Hot Annie join us in the studio / we discover ‘underboob’ / Anyone want my dog ??? / On a tube ride / Why not buy yourself a dil ? / DFA calls in with an announcement / The girl that sneezes 12,000 times a day / Smoke ‘em out’ / a 47 year old listener calls in and offer to take Mike out on the town / Much more.. just listen.
http://redbarradio.com/
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
Day one of training, feeling already the difference in myself, among the group and among the other facilitators. feeling a huge amount in the back of my heart. and my left hip.
"a falling star fell from your heart
and landed in my eyes"
the sweet the love
facing things as they arise.
many things to absorb
to bring home
to make daily
to come to terms with
and release
"the stars the moon
they have all been blown up."
having fallen in love
yet fallen out of
daily communion
no-it's there just not to the depth
that i know my potential contains
things to do daily to remember to follow through on
breath
open-open through
movment-change
the tools
grounding
asking how can i open more through this
i have gotten SO good at facing to teh edge and beyond everything that arises
have learned not to stuff not to push away, embrace the resistance
the tools are what will save me
in that time of contraction, getting centered JUST enough to ask for help
to raise my eyes above to the vastness outside of myself. to step on the ground.
IT CAN BE SO QUICK
be intntional
get direct
ask for the support
from above
from below
TRUST and remember that it will always be there.
in love and trust
revolution starts within
within love
within trust
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
 |
|
Anyone who knows me well could say that I'm not someone to attempt to make impulsive changes about myself. I never say, "Starting today, I'm not going to ______, anymore."
I've been part of a lot of relationships (daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, wife, etc), as most of you have. And one of the things I've learned in the last couple of years is that even in very painful relationships, usually neither party is completely at fault (or blameless, for that matter).
For better or worse, in most cases, we pick eachother in some way. I mean, I know instantly when I don't like someone, and I avoid that person. I also tend to know instantly when I like someone, and I try to spend time getting to know that person. Even when the relationship falls off the tracks, I still picked that person at some point along the way.
I know how hard it is to change myself. 5 or 6 years ago, I was much more likely to say, "Starting today, I'm not going to ______, anymore."
But, over the following couple of years, I gained/lost a handful of serious relationships. And I've come to realize that I have slowly changed. I'm less prone to temper tantrums, less flighty, less restless. And it's not because I woke up one day and decided not to be so impulsive. It's because 4 or 5 years ago, I decided to stop trying to make radical changes in my life and start "pointing in the right direction."
This is a Big Philosophy of my life. It involves accepting myself and the people around me for how they are, faults and all. I'm not perfect at it - I have a *very* low (zero) tolerance for certain personality traits, but I've evolved past the point in my life where I expect people (boyfriends/family members) to Change, especially if - when I really, really look at it straight on - my main demand that they change is so they can be more pleasing to me, not because the fault is something detrimental. But the Big Philosophy says that most personality traits are neither good/bad, and therefore should be accepted at face value.
Last night, as I was laying in bed, feeling restless in my glorious newfound boredom, I started thinking about brains and nature/nurture. I think sometimes we think of our brains as being independent of our bodies in some way. Someone can be born with physical deformaties that can't be fixed, but for whatever reason, we think that if we pry, force, or demand change from someone's brain (how they do things, their personalities, etc), that the brains they've been given by "nature" can adapt, given the right "nurture."
As I lay there, I started theorizing that brains are just as hard to change as physical bodies are. You can't just demand of yourself to give up cheetos (unless you hate them, like I do), anymore than you can demand of yourself that you give up lying (unless you hate it, like I do).
Where am I going with this?
Oh yes, so people can't change just like *that*. And I think our instinct to assume that certain characteristics are "bad" is part of the problem. We think we are doing someone a favor by demanding that they change a certain aspect of themselves, because we really hate it, personally. We can use the justification that other people won't like it, either - but ultimately the main reason we expect other people to change is to please ourselves.
But it's a bit faulty. I mean, I think we pick eachother - so even sometimes the stuff we hate sometimes is something we need. For example, in a relationship, I crave that my partners be similar to me in these ways: ability to see the big picture, self-motivation, blunt honesty - but there are also things I do that I avoid in other people - there are also things that I am not, but crave in others: emotional responses to things, attention to detail, and willingness to accept help/leadership. I don't have those traits - people generally consider me aloof, I don't always care about details, and I get irritated by unsolicited "help."
And actually, those are all things that, once upon a time, I've tried to change about myself. But now, I can look at those same traits and not see them as "bad" - perhaps they are antisocial at times, but they work really well for me from a business standpoint, and so they will never fully change.
The best I can do is try to point in the right direction - make small changes when I can see them. If I'm being grumpy because someone offered to change my tire when I can do it!!! (has happened numerous times), maybe I can just take a step back (sometimes) and let a little bit of me change that one time. That is, instead of frustrating myself by trying to force myself to do something uncharacteristic every single time I'm faced with a similar situation. Just change sometimes, hope for a bigger change, over time.
And I can continue to try to have the same of tolerance for other people's personalities, because they are equally difficult to change. And those characteristics probably serve the person's benefit in some helpful way, even if I've previously considered the trait to be "bad." It's not "bad," it's just different and complexly so.
So many things are swirling around my head, now. I feel like I've spent the last couple of months not-thinking because I didn't feel like I had the time. Now, I'm just letting everything wash over me until I have a better grasp on it all and feel like I'm in the right place to act (if necessary).
In some ways, I've been a little irresponsible with my friendships while being so busy. In other ways, I've been exactly what I've always said I am. And there's something interesting and noteworthy about it, even if it's not something that should be taken into consideration when I'm working out my approach.
1 Comment | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
make deposit
get necessaries at Target
get paint/etc at Menards or whereve (yes, I still didn't do this)
choreograph class routine for tonight
radio interview
cut/color appointment
American Apparel - sheer underthings for Blue Bayou
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Dates being confirmed for performing/modeling in Detroit/Grand Rapids:
3/5/10-3/8/10
If you are in either place and want to work together, drop me an email!
xo
Annie
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
 |
|
So, this week I will be working on my hot dog cart. Not only will I be revealing this act at Belmont Burlesque on Nov 21, but the fellow who made the hot dog cart for me (over a year ago - yikes!) will be stopping by our place on Sunday, and I’d love to finally have it ready to show him!
So, here’s how it started:
I’ve actually made some progress. It’s now primed:
(oh yes, and sitting under a bunch of other props in my garage…yikes!)
So, my master plan is to buy some paint today and start making it beautiful! I’ve been thinking a lot about it – this is going to be a pretty permanent job, so I want to get it right the first time. So, I’m bringing in the big guns – my friend, Steve. He’s an artist, a painter – and this is the perfect project for him.
So, obviously we’re starting with this:
I think the best approach is going to be to start by painting coats of the background, first yellow:
Then red - I think I'm going to use tape to try to get the lines as solid/straight as possible:
Then the lettering, which we'll be doing by printing out the letters on the printer and using them as stencils (I'm most worried about this part, honestly!):
Then the logo (which Steve is actually designing, so it won’t look nearly as generic as this):
And finally, the firey flame!
Anyways, that's the plan. I've got my fingers crossed that it turns out anything like what I've got here. I'll try to take pictures to show progress! Wish me luck!
xo
Annie
1 Comment | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
So my nano this year appears to be revolving around a girl and her spider. It was bound to happen. Ever since the spider macros have started popping up, I've gotten more and more enthralled by the beady little eyes of jumping spiders everywhere. They're fuzzy and they kinda have puppy eyes. Very weird.
Writing about spiders means researching keeping spiders, and this morning I was looking at this one website that had all the popular tarantula types. And for a good ten minutes I was actually contemplating getting one.
Okay cut, stop, that's it. There must be a line drawn and I need to be on the side that has no pet tarantulas. What the hell would I do with a spider?? Yes, fascinating to look at, but I'd still never touch one. I do not need a pet I'm too scared to handle. It's why I don't have large snakes either.
It's fine. I'll just cuddle my plushie spider. He's soft and cute and far less fangy. :p
2 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
I basically haven't left the house for two days. Ask me if I love it?
Yes, yes I do.
And, if I didn't have a fast-growing list of things I need to buy (paint, wheels, light bulbs, stockings, laundry detergent...), I'd probably try to make it three.
It's glorious to have so little to do.
Maybe I can actually get bored this week.
I'm going to aim for that.
Boredom.
Sounds fun.
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
So, lately I've had all these deadlines, and since my schedule for the last couple of months had been so hectic, I've been completing these big projects by the skin of my teeth! I'm really more of someone who is chronically organized, rather than a procrastinator, so it's been a little scary for me. Of course, I have my things I procrastinate, but in general, I'm like a sweet, sweet boy scout - always prepared.
So yeah, I'm starring at a bill that I'm probably going to pay off by the skin of my teeth...it's one of those loans where if you don't pay it off by the due date, they'll charge you all the interest they would have charged you. I'm thinking I probably should have been a little more agressive about payng this loan down, because now I'm looking at a sturdy $500 due by 11/28. I'll pay it, but I'll be sending in that last little bit on 11/25, you can count on that. ;)
And hopefully, that will shut the books on the last couple month's almost-missed deadlines.
xo
Annie
Chicago Burlesque
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
Lots of new faces in the Reggie's audience last night. Way cool.
I had a great time, and officially love Lady Monster's fire tassles. So. cool.
I'm exhausted, and really ought to crawl back into bed, but I'm up - and I'm staying up. Got a photo shoot in a couple hours, and I have to bring a lot of other people's costumes, so I'm gonna have to get on that, eventually.
xo
Annie
Chicago Burlesque
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
An article on my burlesque classes! Now to find a copy of the paper so I can have it for when my tits are in my shoes! :)
Enjoy! It even includes a couple pictures of me in too much makeup because I came from a photo shoot earlier in the day...my bad. :)
http://blogs.pioneerlocal.com/oakpark365/2009/11/nov_7_2009_-_annie_weinert.html
xo
Annie
Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
In the last 24 hours, after extensive research, I've added 18 performers (so far) to my list of Chicago Burlesque Performers - all folks that I'd simply overlooked over the course of the last couple of very busy months. Expect some new faces in upcoming shows! :)
Also, organizing traveling opportunities for next year - looking for places in the Midwest to poke my pointy boobies in. It's really nice to be slow enough to be able to do some future planning!
Yay!
xo
Annie
Chicago Burlesque
2 Comments | Post A Comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend | Link
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
weird